Right, it’s Weighty Wednesday again. I’m starting to dislike Wednesdays…
I’ve decided the scale and I are not meeting today, either. Bitch Week only just ended yesterday (yeh, I know, right? It lasted for like, FOREVER this time!). I am sick and so not in the mood to confront my failures. Yes, failures because I know I won’t be happy with the scale today.
I’m actually having a really lousy week. I started seeing a therapist and my first session was Monday. I left feeling like it was a total waste of time and stress, though intellectually it makes sense that the first meeting would be sort of a meet n greet. My insurance only pays for 20min sessions, though, so frankly I don’t much see the point in this. I’ll stick it out for a while though and see how it goes. I have a feeling this is just going to turn into one more of those situations where I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable and just end up more hurt in the end. I’m really not sure about what I’ve got myself into. And the anxiety about it is ruining my day, lol.
But back to the weight-loss., I’m just very discouraged. This isn’t really working for me and I don’t know. Maybe I need a break? There are so many stressful things wrapped up in this that, of course, I can’t talk about or I will get phone calls, that it’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m just not important enough to bother improving. My desire to lose weight feels selfish. I feel like I’m blocked in my goals at every turn. Obviously, none of these feelings are rational but tonight I just don’t have the energy to fight them.
Case in point it has taken me more than 8 hrs to write this post. Imagine what writing a recipe plan for the week is like. I feel like I don’t have enough TIME. Maybe it’s because I can feel my 30th year creeping up on me? Is this some kind of mid-mid-life crisis?!?!
Blagh. I’m in a funk and I know it. Maybe I won’t feel so hopeless about it when I’m not sick, eh? I found the above picture via Google. I see it has a signature on it, no it’s not my image. I just didn’t want anyone thinking I take myself TOO seriously, right? Right.
Aawwwww! Big hugs! Be uplifted! There’s a bumper sticker I like that says ‘There’s no short cuts to anywhere worth going!’
Persist with the weight loss and the therapy for a few more months then if it REALLY doesn’t work out, you’ll know you gave it a good shot. I’m having the same problem with the weight loss. My main problem is that I’m home all the time and I’m never too far away from the biscuit tin! So there’s at least one reader who’s interested and empathises with your weight loss issues!
And I haven’t even started therapy yet, so you’re way ahead of me on that one!
Aw, that’s so kind of you! I’ve actually done better so far this week. Sometimes I guess I just need to wallow for a minute and then I feel better? I dunno. But thanks for the encouragement, I needed that.
The Therapy thing makes me really uncomfortable but I am going to give it an honest try. We’ll see what happens!